I broke down today and actually counted my calories today. I just had this feeling that I’ve been eating too much lately and the anxiety got the better of me. I really want to rely on intuitive eating but I think the problem is that I don’t completely trust it yet. I haven’t been able to completely let go of calorie counting and I don’t think intuitive eating can work like that.
There have been many times over the past couple of days where I’ve found myself eating when I’m not hungry and rationalizing that its ok calorie-wise. Calories or not, if I’m not hungry then why am I eating? What if I am only eating when I’m hungry but it’s still too many calories?
Today I felt like I did pretty good listening to my body and eating what I needed. I was unusually full after about 2/3 of my breakfast and I stopped eating. Lunch was leftover pizza from last night…
2 slices on whole wheat crust topped with BBQ sauce, zucchini, yellow squash, tomatoes, and about 1/8 cup mozzarella cheese. I forgot my camera today so this pic is recycled from last nights dinner, instead of the chicken pictured I had 4 ritz crackers.
Between lunch and dinner I had snacks and I definitely need them..
1 large orange with 1 serving of pistachios and 1 large pear to hush my grumbling tummy before hitting the gym.
At the gym I did my standard I-don’t-know-what-I-feel-like-doing cardio – which is to just rotate between different machines doing 10 minutes on each.
- treadmill @ 6.2 – 10 minutes
- spin bike – 10 minutes
- stair stepper – 10 minutes
My heart rate stayed right around 170 the whole time so I figured it was a decent short workout. I would have done another 10 minutes but the Navy guy called about halfway through the stair stepper, apparently he wanted to come home today so I had to go pick him up.
Dinner was kind of on a whim, we go to Chick-Fil-A pretty frequently as it’s the Navy Guy’s favorite. Usually I’m pretty good and navigating healthier options or just getting a sandwich or salad and supplementing with veggies at home. Today was just not one of those days. I just had this feeling that if I didn’t go with what I really wanted I was just going to be unsatisfied and end up eating more later, so I just went with it. I had an amazing spicy chicken sandwich (fried) and fries. Almost 700 calories and no veggies in sight, but I was just the right amount of full and totally satisfied, actually it’s almost 3 hours later and I’m still feeling satisfied and not the least bit guilty. Not every day has to be perfect.
Maybe it was the high calorie dinner, or maybe its the feeling I’ve just been over eating in general, but one way or the other I got the urge to calorie count and I broke down and did it. At first all the dieting mentality came swooping in and I was unhappy with what I saw. I took a step back and tried to sort through my feelings and think about the principles of intuitive eating and took another look. I was within healthy ranges of calories, fat, and protein. I was a little high on carbohydrates, but just a very little bit, I did have oats, pizza, crackers, 2 large pieces of fruit, and french fries so that’s not really suprising.
I’m kind of going back and forth with the idea of calorie counting for a little while. Should I just give it up and move on and try to learn to trust myself or should I use it as a tool to monitor my nutrients and keep myself in check, hey I am still trying to lose a few lbs.
Oh and so much for trying the whole “If you couldn’t eat it 100 years ago, don’t eat it now” concept today. I think with all my conflicting thoughts about calories and intuitive eating it was just way too much to tackle all in one day. I still think it’s an awesome way to think about healthy eating but right now I’ve got far more basic issues to sort out.
Right now I what I want to remember is that
- how many calories I eat in a given day does not determine whether or not I am healthy
- What I am eating is way more important than how much I am eating
- I want to nourish and fuel my body according to what I need, not what someone else might need or want.
I have faith that I’ll catch on eventually 🙂