I have to admit it, my last post was a little forced. I spent more time trying to convince myself that I wasn’t upset/in a funky mood than I actually spent working on really feeling better. While I really do believe in the power of positive thinking when it comes to dealing with crappy emotional feelings sometimes it’s not the only answer.
Today I tried to ignore how I was feeling and it kind of back fired on me. Sure I could look forward to seeing my sister and I most definitely enjoy having some alone time every now and again but that didn’t change the fact that I’m sad about other things. I don’t think it’s healthy to dwell on negative emotions but it’s not healthy to pretend they aren’t there.
I spent most of the afternoon convincing myself that I should go try out this new class at the base gym that I’ve been thinking about trying for over a month. I felt crappy but I knew that getting out and getting a good workout would make me feel better.
I got there a little bit more than 10 minutes early since I was new to the class and that’s pretty much the standard for base classes: get there about 10 minutes early so you have a chance to meet the instructor and learn about the equipment etc. I’ve never been to any gym other than a base gym, but I’ve been to about 4 or 5 different kinds of classes on base and this has always been the case. To my surprise the class was totally full already.
Apparently some people had “called” their weights almost an hour before the class was scheduled just because they were already at the gym. I was bummed! I wasn’t the only one and the instructor invited us to watch so we could get a feel for the class. I’m glad I got to watch because it was not what I expected at all, but I was still just plain bummed. I won’t have an opportunity to go to that class for another week or two.
After that I was hungry and just feeling overall pretty crappy. I didn’t know what I wanted to eat for dinner and I had pretty much zero appetite for real food. All I wanted to do was snack on crap like crackers and chips, so what did I do? I snacked on crap like crackers and chips. I snacked and snacked and snacked. It was until well over 1/2 of my days calories were officially blown on nutritionally void munchies that I realized what I was really doing. The sad thing was that in the end my hunger level hadn’t changed at all. I decided to be honest with myself, so I added everything up – I managed to eat around 1200 calories and my hunger level was virtually unaffected, I still felt like I needed to eat a normal dinner! I had already eaten a normalish breakfast, lunch, and snacks throughout the day. Isn’t that kind of really scary?
Its been a long time since emotional eating has really gotten the better of me like this and I almost can’t believe that this is what the norm used to be. I think so often I try to push myself to believe that the only way to deal with an emotional eating problem to always be happy or to alway be positive. But that isn’t really dealing with anything.
Ah I hate to be such a downer, but this is really whats going on in my head (and apparently my tummy) right now.
After I let my tummy settle a little bit I heated up some frozen veggie and worked on this post and actually feeling my emotions instead of eating them. I mean, I always knew I wasn’t going to be able to beat down a lifetime of emotional eating over night, so heres to a work in progress! Tomorrow is a new day 🙂
Just as a side note, anyone have any feelings about “saving” or “calling” spot in exercise classes? I mean I’m all for getting to class early to snag the good equipment or a prime spot, but there have been occasions where I’ve been to classes 20-30 minutes early and I’ve seen people putting towels on equipment to “call” their spot (or spots for multiple friends) and then either leaving or doing some other workout until class starts. Is there any kind of recognized etiquette for this kind of stuff?