In the end everything ended up working out last night.
Dinner was an old favorite
Quick frozen veggie stir fry with shrimp. To spice things up I added an egg, some kale, and topped it off with a little soy sauce and a little tahini. Wine on the side, because it makes all things better, right? haha. I actually only ended up drinking about half the glass, but it sure hit the spot.
A little later there was a nut butter showdown
Peanut butter vs almond butter on a piece of Ezekiel. It was a tie. On the bread I the almond butter texture didn’t bother me so much so I really enjoyed both.
Followed by a little dessert action after the gym.
1/2 chunck of Baker’s unsweetened chocolate with some dried papaya and pineapple. I loved this combo! Chocolate doesn’t need to be sweet when its combined with awesome stuff like this 🙂
I realized that GLEE was on so I hung out on the elliptical for about an hour while watching. Nothing hard core, just a steady state pace, my heart rate averaged around 150 bpm.
Parts of the episode really hit home with me. If you didn’t watch the episode, or think glee is kind of silly, haha, one of the characters basically has to lose weight in order to fit in, in the end the moral is that being healthy and loving yourself the way you are is what’s really important.
This really got me thinking – how much of why I want to lose weight is because I think it will make me more “normal” or because for some reason I think that being a certain weight or having a certain body type is a requirement to be a good runner or to be a healthy lifestyle blogger or really to be anything else I might want to be?
I have absolutely no health problems, I eat well, I exercise regularly, I do my best to keep my emotional health balanced, honestly, I consider myself to be a pretty healthy gal. So why is it that just because some online BMI calculator says that I am 10 lbs “overweight” do I feel like I’m not good enough?
You may not look at me and think things like “wow she must be a marathon runner” or “dang, that girl surely eats 5-8 servings of fruits and veggies a day.” And yea, I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t bug me that I do feel so healthy on the inside but feel like I don’t necessarily look the part on the outside. But the reality is that you can’t look at anyone and really know anything about who they really are or what they do.
The bottom line is that I love my lifestyle how it is. I love food, I love cooking, I love eating, I love having a glass of wine every now and then, I love being active, I love training, and I love trying new and fun ways to exercise.
What I don’t love is being restrictive or forcing/wearing myself out with excessive exercise in the name of weight loss. In short – it drives me crazy, makes me anxious, and generally stressed me out and takes away from my life. Would being a certain weight or jean size really make me any happier? Even if it would I don’t think it would be worth the cycles of restriction and self sabotage I’ve already put myself through to get there.
“I was starting to like this person, extra weight and all. And the more I liked myself, the more I cared for myself. The less I sabotaged myself and said nasty things about myself. I started eating better and exercising more regularly and eventually, the pounds melted off.”
Now I don’t expect that just by loving and accepting myself that I’m going to somehow drop a bunch of lbs, that would totally contradict this entire point of this post. But I do think that if I accept myself, treat myself well, and live a healthy lifestyle that makes me happy, that my weight and body will end up where its supposed to be. If all this means that I’m never going to have a magical BMI of less than 25 or reach my “goal weight,” then maybe I just need to accept that and let go and live my life.
I’m off to the park to proudly show off my runners bod 🙂
What are you proud of today?